vancover!!!

on the weekend... i went to vancover, with girl guides but shhh! no one has to know. we all went to the coleseum but i think the bus ride was the funnest part :) my friend and i tried getting up at four am but that didnt work because... well we were both laying there and she was like sierra get upppp and i was like nooo so she was like screw it and we both went to sleep, then at about four thirty she was awake again laying down, i closed my eyes for a second and when i opened them again she was up at her mirror looking at her face. i got up and that was that. the bathroom light was so bright so i dimmed the lights, then i put some thick eyeliner on and i was like whatever. i am often teased about how much makeup i wear, but its a scene thing so ya, i need to be able to handle being stared at and teased if i want to be scene... scene is often frowned upon and scene people are often called "posers" but im just being me. just becase i wear bright clothing, thick eyeliner etc.. dosnt mean im a poser! the first time i saw a "scene queen" i was amazed at how outgoing the look was and i wanted to look like that, but that dosnt mean im trying to be something that im not; i just like the style! so i wanted to be a bleach white hair scene queen but that didnt work... my hair started falling out so i had to dye it dark... that didnt work and it looked terrible but now ive recovered and my hair is normal; i plan to dye it a shade darker. anyway i got so side tracked by the scene thing... that morning we left for the place where the greyhound bus was waiting and everyone looked so tired! we got on the bus and rolled along the road to vancover, i made sure i didnt drink anything at all the entire time so i wouldnt pee myself (i have a phobia of not being able to use the bathroom when i need to) in the first hour of driving everyone was like yayy then people piped down and i went to sleep. i have to say, that was the longest day of my life! the hours droned on as i sat semi awake on the bus, then finally... i decided to recline my seat, ha ha i crushed the person sitting behind me! im just glad the seat infront of me was unreclinable >:D *evil laugh* because i an extreamely claustraphobic! also i have social anxiety disorder, which is the fear of being called upon infront of the class, being noticed, standing out, and constantly being afraid of talking to people. its hard for me, because none of my teachers know about it so they call on me in class and i feel like i have to scream and run away, or puke. so when we arrived in vancover it was extreamely stressfull because we were crowded in the colaseum with 8000 other girls, i have to say again... i spent nearly 200 bucks on that trip and it wasnt worth it!! i will never do it again if presented with the oportunity! so the trip sucked bla bla bla... when it was time to sleep the lights were still on at 12:00 pm, and we were all crowded on the cold floor, plus there was no private space to change but in our sleeping bags, which sucked, by the way. finally i fell aleep. in the morning everyone had to rise at 7:00 am... then when we left my leader wouldnt let me use the bathroom before i left. i fell asleep on the busride back home and i awoke to the sound of a camera in close range. it turns out my friend took a picture of me when i was sleeping and i looked TARDED! so i got home and just collapsed on my bed.. oh right: after my mom forgot to pick me up. turns out some bad pictures of me were taken on the trip and were posted on facebook! >:( i did everything i could to get them off but no! so i fixed my camera amd there are some pretty bad pictures of some people on there, i will post them and see how they like it! they say im over reacting but i dont think i am! so ya i got some stuff done on the weekend and i have more to do: i have to sell nine cases of cookies to raise 200 bucks to go swimming with the dolphins in san fransisco, im going to san fransisco in about a month and ive only raised aproximetly 300 dollars, so buy my cookies! PLEASE!

thanks for reading

IM NOT EMO and other things :3

it seems that a few people think im emo... just because i dyed my hair darker and i wear alot of black. i just like black, i dont cut myself! sometimes i may seem a little sad, but thats just me. so anyways ive been quite sad lately, as i have been quite lonerish and no one has wanted to hang out with me, and to add to my reasons: like yesterday there was a hot emo guy at the school and it turns out two of my friends were going to the beach with him... so today i got to school and those two friends were chatting about how much fun they had and how he was very interesting. well i kinda have a reason to be happy, im going to vancover this weekend and on friday im sleeping at my friends house then we have to get up at 5 am and meet at the school... im going to smuggle energy drinks into the coloseum (thats where were staying) Also, on the drive to vancover my friend is going to try to force feed me gravol, she wants me to be dead asleep so i dont puke on her (because were "bus buddies") ha ha ha ive had bad expiriences with traveling, i went to vernon with this same friend and i threw up when we were arriving! her mom was laughing at me, like EW. today at lunch i am leaving early *evil laugh* for a dentist appointment, i have to get a teeth cleaning and maybe some xrays, as i need a root canal, four teeth pulled, and then braces :'( well...

the.. sunday

ok so, this weekend was stupid and boring... yesterday people came over for turkey. i got my mom a big hanging basket of flowers and when i gave it to her she started crying, my brother and i cleared the room when the tears came: we didnt want to stand there watching her cry. So i went outside and planted some bean plants! yay for me, no just kidding i dont really like growing things, to be honest the last bean plant i tried growing... died from... abuse ha ha ha i fed it tomato sauce and vitimin c pills. *evil laugh.* So at dinner my grampa came over and was eating, he has gashes on his face... this made me want to cry, he dosnt even remember me or anyone else. But right before i went for dinner i was at our other house that we rent to keep all of our "junk" at. we had to cars for sale on the side of the highway right beside that big boat thing, we sold the nice white car. Well actualy my dad traded it for a stupid mud bogging truck! i was supposed to get a hundred dollars from it if he sold it, for my trip to san fransisco. Later that night i was watching family guy and so,

Quagmires dad came to town and was visiting him, peter and the guys came over to meet him but they think he is gay, later they go to a fancy party and all the guys seem to like the dad, peter makes quagmire confront his dad to see if he is gay but it turns out... he is a woman trapped inside a mans body. so the father goes to get an operation at the hospital to become a woman. Quagemire is upset and goes home, meanwhile the father, now mother (iga, or something like that) goes to a bar for a drink. Brian (the dog) just happens to be there also, they pretty much hook up and go to her hotel room, you know the rest. later the next day brian comes home and is talking to stuie (the baby) then brian brings her up and they start into that convorsation then... stuie tells brian about how quagmires dad got the operation and brian is like NO WAY and laughs. then he askes stuie what its name is, stuie says iga then suddenly brian starts shivering and then he throws up all over the floor, but he dosnt stop barfing for a long time. Brian just pukes non-stop for about a minute and a half... i was ROFLMAO!!! (rolling on floor laughing my as* off) and laughing so hard! it was the best episode of family guy ever!

off to the mall soon! to be honest im really exited because this is the first time i have hung out with a friend outside of school in a loonnggg time... i have been quite lonerish lately and have stopped caring about my social life. but now i am relising that i was being stupid, i must try at life and stop hating the world for what has happened. i have to look on the positive side and ignore the bad things in life... and like goshhh i just got shot during english class it hurt! D: he he but its over now. it was like a shot of heat in my muscle now it still hurst but it was pretty fast ._.

ok... SO

OK SO... i got over the rude comments about my hair, and it seems that my hair is no longer extremly grey, but slowly turning brown. today is a happy day :) after school i am going to the mall with a friend, and i actualy got money so i MIGHT be able to buy that awesome pink bag i want from bang on... it is slippery textured with a picture of a record player on it. if i dont have enough... well then i shall settle with a smaller version of it, maybe a black bag from bang on. and im really hungry right now! i want lunch! and today is going really slloowww.

kung pow...

the WORST movie i have ever seen, the actors were trying so hard to make a good movie, but it sucked. and it was subtitled. just saying- dont watch it, you will be scarred if you do :o

the end of my life

ok so i went out for break... that totally ruined my day. at first i was hesitant and didnt walk around but then i saw some friends and went to them. they had the most shocked looks on their faces when they say me. another mini heart attack. before anyone could say anything, i shushed them and said something like; I KNOW I KNOW. then: "oh my god, your hair." some people just stared with disbelife. i told them the reason i did it, and "dont dye your hair ever again." then the final rude comment that ruined my WEEK: "its grey." i plan to go home at lunch, i cannot face the horror of a large english class looking my way. a lump has formed in the back of my throat. :'( :'( :'( :'(

social anxiety, comes.

so i havent been on my blog in a while... but thats ok :) you know what isnt ok though? my hair; i tried dyeing it dark brown and well... its kinda grey brown black and it dosnt look that great. im fine with it but other people probably wont be. today is my first day back to school with my new haiir and only like one friend has seen it so im not sure what my other friends reactions will be. also, with my social anxiety its alot harder. i should have stayed home today.. or at least been late, because when im late there are no people in the halls so no one looks at me. this morning when i got to school i stepped out of my small car and walked across the pavement i had a mini heart attack and wanted to go home. things got worse as i got inside the school. i tried hiding my face in my now dark hair but an aquantance recognised me right away, she asked me if we had english first or second block and i told her the truth. thank god we didnt have english first. that would be terrible. so right now i sit in my first class dreading the first break, fearing the reactions of people emoung me, knowing... today is going to be a hard day.

horsies :]

i love dem! i think they are cutest when running around or laying on the ground, i have three horses.. but only one is really mine, his name is sunny. my mom has two horses named king and cyote; both boys. she dosnt seem to like the mayres. i like rideng sunny but im not good at it. like at all! my mom wont even let me leave the yard, because sunny is too stubborn and i suck. once we have our new housing situation figured out were planning on buying a horse at the vernon auction. in fact, im probably going to the auction right after school... but i dont know if i should because it is really boring whem you know you wont get something that very day, its like: ooo i like this one but.. i cant have it. oh well at least i will get a nicev horse someday. the ultimate reason why i have the need to get another horsie is because sunny has artheritic knees :[ i also dont know all the horse names like palimino and that stuff. :]

scene... what i think of it

scene should be something fun! with lots of bright colous... there is no real way to be scene, you can be scene is you simply wear the scene style alone. or back comb your hair with likeee a coon tail or some colourful streaks. scene haters are stupid (personaly) like scene people are just having fun, then scene haters are like scene people are such posers bla bla bla, its just a look! it dosnt nesisarily mean there trying to be cool, maybe they just like the look! like oh my god they are ruining the scene everything!