social anxiety, comes.

so i havent been on my blog in a while... but thats ok :) you know what isnt ok though? my hair; i tried dyeing it dark brown and well... its kinda grey brown black and it dosnt look that great. im fine with it but other people probably wont be. today is my first day back to school with my new haiir and only like one friend has seen it so im not sure what my other friends reactions will be. also, with my social anxiety its alot harder. i should have stayed home today.. or at least been late, because when im late there are no people in the halls so no one looks at me. this morning when i got to school i stepped out of my small car and walked across the pavement i had a mini heart attack and wanted to go home. things got worse as i got inside the school. i tried hiding my face in my now dark hair but an aquantance recognised me right away, she asked me if we had english first or second block and i told her the truth. thank god we didnt have english first. that would be terrible. so right now i sit in my first class dreading the first break, fearing the reactions of people emoung me, knowing... today is going to be a hard day.