off to the mall soon! to be honest im really exited because this is the first time i have hung out with a friend outside of school in a loonnggg time... i have been quite lonerish lately and have stopped caring about my social life. but now i am relising that i was being stupid, i must try at life and stop hating the world for what has happened. i have to look on the positive side and ignore the bad things in life... and like goshhh i just got shot during english class it hurt! D: he he but its over now. it was like a shot of heat in my muscle now it still hurst but it was pretty fast ._.

ok... SO

OK SO... i got over the rude comments about my hair, and it seems that my hair is no longer extremly grey, but slowly turning brown. today is a happy day :) after school i am going to the mall with a friend, and i actualy got money so i MIGHT be able to buy that awesome pink bag i want from bang on... it is slippery textured with a picture of a record player on it. if i dont have enough... well then i shall settle with a smaller version of it, maybe a black bag from bang on. and im really hungry right now! i want lunch! and today is going really slloowww.

kung pow...

the WORST movie i have ever seen, the actors were trying so hard to make a good movie, but it sucked. and it was subtitled. just saying- dont watch it, you will be scarred if you do :o

the end of my life

ok so i went out for break... that totally ruined my day. at first i was hesitant and didnt walk around but then i saw some friends and went to them. they had the most shocked looks on their faces when they say me. another mini heart attack. before anyone could say anything, i shushed them and said something like; I KNOW I KNOW. then: "oh my god, your hair." some people just stared with disbelife. i told them the reason i did it, and "dont dye your hair ever again." then the final rude comment that ruined my WEEK: "its grey." i plan to go home at lunch, i cannot face the horror of a large english class looking my way. a lump has formed in the back of my throat. :'( :'( :'( :'(

social anxiety, comes.

so i havent been on my blog in a while... but thats ok :) you know what isnt ok though? my hair; i tried dyeing it dark brown and well... its kinda grey brown black and it dosnt look that great. im fine with it but other people probably wont be. today is my first day back to school with my new haiir and only like one friend has seen it so im not sure what my other friends reactions will be. also, with my social anxiety its alot harder. i should have stayed home today.. or at least been late, because when im late there are no people in the halls so no one looks at me. this morning when i got to school i stepped out of my small car and walked across the pavement i had a mini heart attack and wanted to go home. things got worse as i got inside the school. i tried hiding my face in my now dark hair but an aquantance recognised me right away, she asked me if we had english first or second block and i told her the truth. thank god we didnt have english first. that would be terrible. so right now i sit in my first class dreading the first break, fearing the reactions of people emoung me, knowing... today is going to be a hard day.

horsies :]

i love dem! i think they are cutest when running around or laying on the ground, i have three horses.. but only one is really mine, his name is sunny. my mom has two horses named king and cyote; both boys. she dosnt seem to like the mayres. i like rideng sunny but im not good at it. like at all! my mom wont even let me leave the yard, because sunny is too stubborn and i suck. once we have our new housing situation figured out were planning on buying a horse at the vernon auction. in fact, im probably going to the auction right after school... but i dont know if i should because it is really boring whem you know you wont get something that very day, its like: ooo i like this one but.. i cant have it. oh well at least i will get a nicev horse someday. the ultimate reason why i have the need to get another horsie is because sunny has artheritic knees :[ i also dont know all the horse names like palimino and that stuff. :]

scene... what i think of it

scene should be something fun! with lots of bright colous... there is no real way to be scene, you can be scene is you simply wear the scene style alone. or back comb your hair with likeee a coon tail or some colourful streaks. scene haters are stupid (personaly) like scene people are just having fun, then scene haters are like scene people are such posers bla bla bla, its just a look! it dosnt nesisarily mean there trying to be cool, maybe they just like the look! like oh my god they are ruining the scene everything!

l..o..v..e...

what do i think of love? i belive you musnt make yourself love someone.. it should come naturlly. i belive in love at first sight, and im not against lesbians, or gay people. love is not something you choose, it is something that you feel deeply about someone and you cant change, even if you marry someone and are in deep love... then suddenly you get a divore because you think you dont love them, or arent feeling it; you will always love them inside, no matter how much you wish to not! love can be confusing, it can give you mixed emotions but no matter what...... you will get through it ._.

on another weekend

i went to my grammmsss house and she took me to the mall to get sweats, i went to spencers to get spray in hair dye... my friends has the same colours of spray in dye and she got it first. i hope she dosnt think i copyed her.... cuz i didnt! that is all xp